Au Pair Talk Blog

Interview techniques for families

2011-06-17T08:43:00.000+01:00

How can you tell a good au pair from a bad one? Whilst their profile is a good indication of their character, nothing beats having a personal chat with them to ascertain what they're like. We insist all our families ring the au pairs at least once. You can tell so much by how they interact with you on the phone. OK, it may cost you a little having to call overseas but there's always Skype! Free and you can get to see them on the computer and often they appear so much better in three dimension format! We often tell families to ring first and if first impressions are good, then Skype the au pair together with the children. This way the whole family can get involved in choosing the right au pair

Here comes the sun

2011-06-17T08:35:00.000+01:00

Brrrrrrr! Doesn't feel much like summer outside but yes, the summer season has officially begun. If you're new to hosting an au pair or considering au pair as a childcare option, summer candidates are a great introduction. In general the au pairs can stay from 4 to 12 weeks, covering you for the dreaded holiday season and it is a great introduction as to whether choosing to go down the au pair route as your childcare arrangement is right for you. The au pairs stay for a short time, give you the help you need and they're off.

We have hundreds of great au pairs, all having different skill sets and the cost to you is extremely reasonable as opposed to choosing a long term au pair.

Should you stick to the same nationality?

2011-01-14T11:40:00.000Z

Most families who have hosted au pairs often have some horror story recounting their experiences with their au pairs. Like me (I'm only human), if I find a formula which works for me, then I would expect all our families to think the same way.

If you've had great experience with an au pair from a specific country, chances are you will almost inevitably try and choose your next au pair from the same country of origin. Whilst trying hard not to generalise, the next au pair could be extremely different from the first one who has set the bar in your level of expectations and often the subsequent au pair fails to live up to this and hence, everyone is unhappy.

It is better to choose an au pair on the basis of their personal qualities over and above their nationality. Granted, we can all generalise about our fellow EU neighbours but don't make the mistake of choosing someone on the basis of their nationality.

Cultural differences between all nationalities

2011-01-14T11:27:00.000Z

New Year, new start? We thought it would be fun to write a quick article about the various idiosyncracies of the au pairs placed. As we only place them from EU, you won't be surprised to find that everyone is different and sometimes, as a host famiy, we can get past the cultural differences, sometimes not!

Ultimately it is totally dependent on each au pair's personality and is often to generalise but for example, the Austrian au pairs views on our food is most interesting!

Equally the Romanian/Hungarian au pairs can appear arrogant and outspoken.

What most host families need to understand is that when English is not their native tongue, most nationals can only be veyr literal in the way they choose to communicate. For example, diplomacy, tact and discretion are three traits which they need to cultivate which they don't consider terribly important but we do as Brits!

Hence, sometimes an au pair can or may appear to be arrogant (and sometimes they are) but most of the time, they are just trying to get their point across in the only manner they know.

Trick is to be patient and try and get to know them and work out whether they are arrogant or just trying to communicate.

nanny vs au pair

2010-12-03T15:13:00.001Z

Picture the scene. Your child is throwing a tantrum and you are at work.

We're in the money

2010-11-20T08:39:00.000Z

We often get asked by families as to what the appropriate pocket money should be paid to an au pair. Well, although there's nothing official, BAPAA does state that a basic au pair should be paid £65 minimum weekly pocket money.

In truth, the level of pocket money depends on what they're being asked to do and the hours the Au pairs are doing. Families pay between £70-100 for a 25 hour week although it has to be said that the higher amounts may reflect that the Au pair needs to do unsociable hours and may have a specific skill such as being a driver.

For Au pair plus up to £35, it ranges from £80 to £110 and mother's helps are about £100 upwards. It all depends on experience, and what they're expected to do and whether the host family will be there to support them or whether they will be left with sole charge of the children. So unofficially we think £3 an hour reflects the true value of pocket money paid to the Au pairs.

It's important to note that tax and NI should be paid on pocket money over £110 a week.

It's important to pay the market rate and whilst the Au pairs may appreciate being paid more than the average, in truth you may not get your money's worth and it sets a dangerous precedent for the Au pair in question who will go on to the next family expecting even higher pocket money for no apparent reason.

It's the silly season!

2010-11-15T21:52:00.000Z

Call it the winter blues, call it homesickness but strange and very weird things always seem to happen just after Christmas. For some obscure reason, au pairs seem to go home and sometimes , for the unlucky families, they don't want to return.

First thing, don't panic. It's actually quite a common occurence. No matter how matey you think you are with your au pairs, when they're surrounded by their families and it's all cosy and wonderful, often they think twice about returning to reality of school runs, dark days by 4 pm and the chilly weather.

Luckily, the busy season starts in January and we often get an influx of candidates coming through. So whilst it may be painful to have to adjust to life without your old au pair, sometimes a new beginning can just be as fun. It's how you want to look at it, glass half empty or half full syndromme. It may also be the impetus to look at your key criteria of choosing an au pair and often, the criteria which you thought was important the first time round, becomes less important as other more important critiera takes its place. For the families who are hosting au pairs for the first time, it's a good time to reflect on what the experience has been like for you and your family and learn to distinguish what's important and what's not for the next au pair candidate.

Ultimately, there's not a lot you can do if they have decided not to return to the UK. You can only be philosphical and get on with it and search for a new, better au pair.

Jeckyll and Hyde- it's all in the personality

2010-10-19T13:25:00.001+01:00

The most successful placements tend to be based on 2 main points: personality and flexibility. It's not as easy as it looks. Most families tend to rely on a profile sent which includes photos, dear family letter, references and the main profile of an au pair but what is harder to quantify is how the au pair will setlle once she is placed.

Clearly candidates will say what you want to hear at the interview stage but be guided with your gut instincts as to whether you feel the au pair's personality will fit in with your working style of managing your home, children and work. This is where agencies may prove to be money well spent. A good agency will take into account all the factors and try and match who they feel will be right for the family as opposed to using the blunderbus approach of sending you ALL their candidates.

Personality is a highly subjective thing and there are no guarantees you have "read" the au pair correctly but with the right interview questions, and discussions with your agency, you will be guided to the best person for the job.

Also, learn to compromise. We would all love au pairs who can be Jack of All Trades but very few fulfil this. No one is perfect! If it's more important for you to have an au pair who is patient and can engage with your children but not great at ironing, thank your lucky stars you have him/her. Work with your au pair for the best solution and compromise which makes everyone happy.

English courses for the au pair

2010-10-18T12:11:00.001+01:00

Not every au pair speaks fluent English. The range of spoken English really vary from the very basic to fluent. In general we would advise families to avoid the very expensive, crammer, intensive courses run by some colleges which can run into thousands of pounds.

The best thing to do is to check out local colleges where you au pair can get to easily and start with either ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages or EFL (English as a Foreign Language) courses. These courses tend to be least expensive and run on 12-24 week module which also fits in well with the length of au pair placement. Course fees vary but in general they work out to be £5 per lesson or slightly more or less depending on college and the level of subsidy they may get from Central Government funds.

Most of the colleges offer free assessment days, so your au pair can go in for an interview, do a simple test to gauge their level and the college will suggest the appropriate level for them to start.

You may have an au pair who already speaks fluent English, in which case they may wish to consider a GSCE or A level English but it is a major commitment on time and money, so make sure they can commit to this before signing up.

It's terribly important for the au pair to go to college as they may make friends and even if they don't want to learn English, they may wish to study another language.

Food for thought

2010-10-13T14:33:00.000+01:00

"What is fish finger"?

Look at it from their perspective. Fish fingers and baked beans might be a kids diet of choice, but I am not sure its common in Hungary, Romania, or France for that matter.

Why should food be a problem for a new Au pair? Well obviously it will be easier to prepare the kids lunch if they know what the food is, and where it is kept. But it can be a problem serving food that the Au pair likes too. If their idea of a good dinner is bread and soup, and you like Thai curry's, they wont be eating much.

There is no easy, quick solution to this. Its mostly about the au pair getting to know our diets, and the families food preferences.

In general, I would advise most families to be accommodating in the early days and perhaps compromise and either ask the Au pair to cook their own food and slowly introduce the food that the family likes to eat on a gradual basis.

Also, explain what the children like to eat and as foreign as it sounds, fish fingers are a favourite and whilst they may not like it, all they need to do is to serve it to the children!

Don't write off the MANNY - A Male Au Pair could be right for you

2010-10-12T09:59:00.001+01:00

Most families who choose au pairs tend to gravitate towards girls as this is more common and families tend to be more comfortable with the concept of having a girl around. But depending on your family circumstances, a "MANNY" or AKA male au pair can be just what the doctor ordered. I have dealt with loads of families who originally started their brief with a girl au pair and ended up with a boy au pair who has worked out beautifully.

Believe it or not, there are lots of boys who want to do this. Ok, I am about to say a few things which might appear sexist. In my experience, boys are calmer, less emotional, generally more stoical and gets on with the job in hand whereas girls can be the total opposite. Boys in general tend to be more competent and confident drivers, so for lots of families, where driving is a pre requisite of the brief, a boy is a great option.

For families who have boys, MANNIES tend to work out to be a better option. OK, you may have to compromise on the cleaning/housekeeping aspects of the placement but hey, you can't have everything! Bottom line, you need to consider whether your au pair is there primarily for childcare or to be a housekeeper/cleaner. If your children are happy, then the au pair has fulfilled their brief.

Real life examples: original family brief was to find a girl au pair as the mother of the family couldn't drive. My advice was to choose a boy au pair over a girl au pair. They have not looked back!

So next time you are looking for an au pair, families should be more open minded and consider a MANNY.